In The Sun
by Missy Jade
Summary: [AU] In the end, in the sunlight as she stares at the aftermath, when Bianca’s life crumbles beneath her, it’s no one’s fault but her own... [MaggieLena, BiancaMaggie]
1. Chapter 1

_Title: In The Sun  
Pairing: Maggie/Lena, Maggie/Bianca, undertones of Bianca/Lena  
Disclaimer: Um, nope, don't own them!  
Rating: Mature (sex, language, adult themes)_

Timeline: Not that important but a lot of the plot shit (JR being trashed by stupid plot twists and the unabortion) just didn't happen - no JR and Babe over and over again, Josh is just a product of stolen eggs... anything along those lines, heh.

Notes: Italics are "present" scenes, basically detailing the aftermath of the affair, don't want anyone to get too confused:-)

_Teaser: __In the end, in the sunlight of the aftermath, when Bianca's life crumbles beneath her, it's no one's fault but her own..._

-

_I picture you in the sun wondering what went wrong  
And falling down on your knees asking for sympathy  
And being caught in between all you wish for and all you seen  
And trying to find anything you can feel that you can believe in _

I know I would apologize if I could see your eyes  
'Cause when you showed me myself I became someone else  
But I was caught in between all you wish for and all you need

If there is anyone who is in the sun  
Will you help me to understand  
'Cause I been caught in between all I wish for and all I need  
Maybe you're not even sure what it's for  
Any more than me

- Joseph Arthur, 'In the Sun'

-

**Prologue...**

-

Lena knew the look on Bianca's face—pale and slightly breathless, slim form trembling slightly, standing in the dim winter sunlight with an almost painfully tense stance. She looked almost painfully emotional and while a small and nostalgic part of the Polish woman ached at the pain her previous lover was feeling, it was muted at best.

Bianca was angry, and Lena found she didn't truly care.

"It was bad enough I've had to deal with your sister since I came to town," Lena snapped tiredly, feeling stretched thin after the last months of too much feeling, and too little reason. But feeling wasn't reasonable, and she knew that for a fact.

"You thought, what, my family would welcome you with open arms?" Bianca gave a short snort, shaking her head and scuffing a boot against the chilly ground. "You slept with Maggie—" It was the tone that cut at Lena, and she stiffened, stepping closer to Bianca. 

_"Amazing how Maggie is hated for doing the same thing Babe Carey does every season, isn't it?" _

"Don't talk about Babe—"

And that brought it out.

It was the undercurrent of disgust in Bianca's defensive voice that triggered a rush of the old hurt coming back— Bianca hadn't refused her request to come to Poland years earlier for anything other than one reason, one blonde reason.

Maggie hadn't been the only one to come second to Bianca when it came to Babe Carey.

"I don't even know why I came here," Lena bit out, exhausted, pressing fingertips against her face, feeling heated with the old jealousy, now brought out by Maggie— small and dark and vulnerable and beautiful in a way she'd never quite seen before.

And loyal, impossibly and painfully loyal to whomever had her heart.

Only two women had ever truly affected Lena's heart in her life— Bianca had been the first and when she'd ended it, she'd felt sure that there would never be another woman like her. And now there was Maggie, and who could have dreamed of such a ludicrous shift in her world?

Six months, since this had started, and a month since Bianca had fled, tail between her legs, to her sister and mother, telling her own version of this story. Lena had heard enough of it, over the last two days, to grind her teeth and brace herself for the aftermath.

Better she get attacked for these sins than Maggie, though.

"None are blameless in this, Bianca, you have to know that."

It was useless, she knew that, but she had to try anyway— Lena hadn't started this, knew she hadn't, and knew on some level that if she hadn't of been the one to play this part, some other woman would have stepped forward to soothe Maggie's hurt.

Lena tried anyway, because she cared too much not to. 


	2. Chapter 2

_Faded away you have faded away  
You watch and you stil don't know  
And I've fallen alone  
You can't feel it alone  
You know you can't say  
You can't say_

- Tom McRae, 'Line of Fire'

-

**One...**

-

Maggie's emotional turmoil wasn't a new thing.

But it had to make her a hypocrite, that she was running to her cousin with her heartbreak.

Frankie had always confused her, always, and she still didn't know how she felt about her poor dead sister, shot through the heart and, oh, there was probably a joke somewhere, wasn't there?

Already overwhelmed by her sister, Bianca had only added to all of that confusion, took those pieces she had never understood and sharpened them, left them to cut Maggie to shreds with her own fears. She'd gritted her teeth, though, gritted her teeth and braced herself and kept trying because that was what she was supposed to do because she was the Good One.

But this was worse than ever before, and it left Maggie's heart bleeding from it all.

Thoughts were harsh enough by themselves but now they were heavy with memories, voices, images of Lena and Bianca, of perfect little Miranda. That first night with Lena in the office, the force of it all, need that bruised her in ways that went deeper than marks on her skin, an ache after it was over. That first night was a constant weight on her heart, a guilt that ate at her as she tried to sleep but the other nights?

"I'm still stuck on the fact that you've been screwing Bianca's ex."

David was a blunt man when it came to his family, blunt in his love for them and his desire to protect them. She watched as he dropped onto the couch beside her, rubbing his face with one hand and flexing his other hand absently, a tic she'd seen a handful of times when he was truly and completely confused. She knew the movement, and despite the scar that his actions concerning Miranda had left, he was suddenly the only light in her universe because of the simplicity of that movement.

"I know," she mumbled into her mug of tea, smelling strongly of mint and honey, warm in her palm as she sipped at it every so often, swallowing it down carefully. "I know, and I get it, and I understand why you're looking at me like I'm insane and, no, I don't know how it happened."

"Then why _did it happen?"_

For a long time she thought about that, trembled as she tried to figure that out. Finally, weak with confusion, she shook her head, blinking desperately to ease the sudden burn of her eyes. "I don't know," she whispered thickly, and closed her eyes when she felt a warm hand smooth her hair from her face, weak with how much he loved her right now.

"She hired Lena," she choked out finally, and set her mug on the floor before the couch to pull the afghan up to her chin, tucking herself into a ball. "I walked into her office one day, and she had hired Lena, David— she had hired Lena and she hadn't told me."

"Probably didn't want to piss you off."

"It didn't work," she laughed helplessly, and scrunched her eyes more tightly closed as he threaded fingers through her hair tenderly, fatherly, and her mother had never done this, had never cared to. "She lied, didn't want me to know, and then I was supposed to just get over it, and it hurt, because she lied."

"So you screwed her ex?"

"I don't know, I—" and she curled into his side because she had nothing she could say to that.

-

Lena Kundera was so beautiful it was intimidating.

Lena Kundera had cat eyes and a tender smirk, was dark-haired and slim, had long legs that went on forever.

Lena Kundera could lie like it was second nature, lied with a soft smile and a laugh.

Lena Kundera was quickly becoming the complete and total bane of Maggie Stone's existence.

Maggie's feelings had always been confusing when it came to Lena, always— she'd always been jealous of it, of the way Bianca would smile at her in a way she never smiled at her, touch her hand in a way she'd never touched hers. More than that, she'd never trusted Lena, never forgotten Lena's lies even though Bianca seemed to have all too easily.

Clearly, Bianca had a weakness for women who caused her agony.

The knowledge that her girlfriend was once again out late didn't help Maggie's mood as she struggled into the penthouse with her shopping bags, juggling them as she fumbled with her keys bravely. Retail therapy was exhausting but it worked right now, providing the tiny woman with a needed distraction from her current cause of emotional woe.

Lena— stupid Lena with her cat eyes and her sly smile— stupid ugly Lena with her freaky long legs—

The door finally opened and she exhaled savagely, blowing a strand of hair from her face as she snatched her keys out of the lock and shifted her bags again, the wide assortment of dresses and scarves and shoes smacking her in the hips as she edged into the penthouse, pausing at the complete darkness she found herself in.

When she moved forward, not worried, she tripped over something, nearly went down in a tangle of limbs.

"Christ," she whispered as she caught her balance and her breath, taking slow steps, unnerved.

When she finally reached the lamp, she dropped the bags at her feet and flicked it on, grimacing at the flood of light that assaulted her. A moment later, she almost wished she hadn't, finding herself caught in the aftermath of hurricane Miranda, dolls and toys of every kind surrounding her, a vast field that resembled nothing so much as a war zone.

"Someone must have given you sugar today…"

Probably Lena, she thought in irritation, kicking a stuffed bear out of the way as she eased down onto the couch, hissing as she slipped her shoes off and kicked them away, toes cracking as she flexed her feet.

That would be like Lena, wouldn't it, giving Miranda extra sugar just to make it harder on her?

Another few cracks, louder, as she laced her fingers and carefully pulled them upwards, scrunching her eyes closed as she pulled tight muscles and finally relaxed again, sideways to stretch out on the couch, exhausted. "Clean up later," she told herself solemnly, dropping a forearm over her eyes and sighing raggedly. "Before Bianca gets home…" so she wouldn't have to listen to more tightly pleasant comments about how having a maid around would help 'keep the place clean,' as if that was most important in the world.

Maids made her uncomfortable.

Even the sweet-faced nanny, she had found, tended to look at her as if she was some kind of monkey in a zoo…

Maggie must have drifted out, or at least zoned out, because she nearly toppled off the couch with a sudden jolt, twisting to her feet in the next heartbeat as someone furiously jangled keys in a lock, as two feminine voices laughed hysterically through the door. Biting back a swear, now completely awake, the tiny woman moved fast, unlocking the door and hauling it open, finding her suspicions correct.

Bianca, beautiful doe-eyed Bianca with Lena, the maneater herself… er, well… the womaneater herself—

_No_, she told herself abruptly, feeling faintly nauseous at that thought, no thinking about that because, yeah, ew.

Stepping back to allow Bianca to enter, she gritted her teeth and resisted the urge to slam the door in Lena's face, taking a slow steadying breath as the tall woman moved past her, flashing her that stupid little smile of yours, fluttering eyelashes so long they had to be fake. Catching sight of the coat rack, she rocked back on one brutal looking heel and opened her coat, peeling it off in a long graceful movement that made Maggie raise her hackles.

There was no doubt in Maggie's mind; the woman must have practiced the move in some kind of huge mirror.

Pathetic—

"Maggie?"

Eyes flying wide open, she looked past Lena, found Bianca smiling at her in amusement with a cocked eyebrow and beamed awkwardly in response, grin blooming into something more sincere when her eyes dropped down to Miranda, conked out in her stroller. "She looks tired," she cracked, moving forward to crouch before the stroller, reaching out to brush lightening brown hair from a still chubby face.

"Ran like a little monster," Lena chuckled behind her, and the tiny woman bit her cheek to keep her retort under control, irritated at the comparison. But Bianca laughed at the comment and so Maggie glanced behind her, took in Lena's almost childlike grin, the sparkle in dark eyes as the Polish woman gazed down at the little girl.

It made her think of crying in a hospital, and being comforted by a woman sobbing as hysterically as she was.

Oh, God, she didn't _want_ Lena here—

But Bianca did, wanted her help at work, and the thought was like a slap, made her snap her head around to focus on Miranda, unbuckling her hastily and carefully lifting the girl up and out of the stroller. "I'm going to tuck her in," she explained to Bianca needlessly, wanting to get away and calm down. "I'll be back… I'll be back," she finished lamely, seeing that Bianca was already darting away to the kitchen, calling over her shoulder about seeing what they had to drink.

Turning away, she nearly crashed into Lena, jerking in a sudden breath that exploded out of her in a swear, "Goddammit, Lena—" Hand flying up to check that Miranda didn't have whiplash or something, she took a quick step back, swung her eyes up to take in Lena's pale face, the nervous way she twisted long fingers into the black material of her dress. "I could have tripped—"

Fear shining in cat eyes made her hesitate, lick her lips and go quiet and still, getting a better hold on Miranda as she froze there, feeling even more awkward and not sure why. "I just wanted to say goodnight," the terrified-looking woman explained cautiously. "Just… a last little kiss before you put her down… for the night," and here she finally trailed off, shrugging thin shoulders.

There was, Maggie decided, something awful about the image of a viper like Lena Kundera all but begging.

"Quick," the medical student snapped hastily, shifting the girl and allowing Lena to dart closer, lean down and press lips lovingly to a small forehead, brush lightening brown hair from a still chubby face. It was an awkward position and Maggie's back ached in protest but she didn't move until Lena pulled away, letting out a short breath of relief.

"I'm going to put her down," but she took a step only to once again be brought up short, swearing more savagely and feeling guilt-ridden at what Miranda's self-conscious was probably picking up right now. The toys were still scattered around and she began to kick them out of the way, rolling her eyes when Lena stepped forward instead, bending to scoop them up.

Lena, once again pretending to be a Good Woman, not the liar she was—

God, her head hurt.

Ducking out of the living room, she moved fast down the hall towards the nursery, infuriated by her apparent inability to get liars and cheats out of her life, to escape from people who did nothing but destroy her life and act like they were doing something for her in the process, to keep her life relatively sane.

While she tried for Bianca's sake, Maggie never forgot betrayal, couldn't—she'd felt it too many times.

-

Lena wasn't soft by nature, wasn't overly gentle unless there was something in it for her.

Even before she'd slipped by accident into her lucrative career in business espionage, Lena had been gifted at manipulation, at seeing how people ticked and using that knowledge against them. The trick, she had found, lied in telling somebody exactly what they wanted to hear, in figuring out their goals and exploiting that information.

Falling in love with Bianca, kind-hearted naïve Bianca, had been the first blow to her natural sharpness, and the ordeals she had gone through in the months and years following that had pushed her further and further away from her old emotional hardness— Michael, Miranda, her mother…

The first and the last had been brutal on her heart, had gone a long way in decimating her sense of self. It had been Miranda, though, that had been the final blow, had gone the farthest in breaking Lena break down into a shadow of herself. Months of quiet grieving as her mother faded away, and when she'd found out that Miranda was alive, that the beautiful baby girl was breathing and happy and there, she'd found out not from Bianca but from a cheap gossip show…

Nobody had called her, told her, shared the miracle with her— she had been forgotten.

Lena had long since lost all of the control she'd always clung to in her life, and still found herself unbalanced.

When Bianca had shown up with her familiar sweet smile and soft eyes looking for an ally in running Cambias, Lena had leaped at the chance with a desperation that was pathetic, left her shamed by it. She was getting by well enough physically, had enough money to last her for years without working at all, but she was alone in ways that she'd never felt before.

Even her work, which had once kept her endlessly amused and busy before Bianca, did nothing to stimulate her.

"I think this will do," Bianca laughed as she sauntered back into the living room, stepping easily through the toys to set the glasses and the wine bottle on the coffee table. She had slipped off her heels but still wore her dinner dress, a slinky little thing of dark silk and barely there straps.

Bianca was a lovely enough sight that Lena finally tore her eyes away from where Miranda had vanished to, clearing her throat and dropping hastily onto the couch, tucking her skirt awkwardly under her legs. Resisting the urge to look again where the girl had gone, she instead watched Bianca pour two glasses, bouncing on the balls of her feet. "I forgot what it was like when things go well," she added, almost to herself, and Lena smiled despite her best attempt not to, amused.

"I told you I could handle it."

"Should have trusted you," Bianca giggled, and how was she this chipper even without any wine in her system yet?

Lena took the wine with a hum of thanks, staring down at it and thinking about chubby little fingers and a gummy little smile. She hadn't talked to Bianca about Miranda's miraculous return in the last month and a half that she had spent working with Bianca, and was wary to broach the subject, not to mention uneasily aware of how awkward the resulting conservation would be.

She hadn't been family, she'd just been the lover… she'd had no right to think they would tell her…

"Maggie, come sit with us!" and Lena nearly spilled wine all over herself, snapping her head up to find tiny Maggie Stone heading to the couch, looking downright nauseous at the thought of being in the room with Lena. The Polish woman couldn't blame her, mainly since she understood the awkwardness all too well, remembering how many times she'd visited Bianca at the apartment only to find the two other women curled up together on the couch or giggling into each other's ear.

"I should go—"

"Oh, Lena, stay," Bianca shushed her immediately, waving Maggie over to the empty spot on the other side of her and patting the couch happily. "Miranda's asleep," she added as she refilled her glass, tossing long dark hair over one bare shoulder, flashing a little smile to Lena as Maggie stiffly sat down, crossing her arms over her chest. "We can talk."

_Oh, Christ—_

Lena drained her glass too fast and choked a bit, clearing her throat and holding up the glass for a refill, needing any and all alcohol badly suddenly. How many times had she dodged lunch dates and gone home early, trying to dodge any talk? And no, it hadn't worked because here she was with her ex-lover and stone-faced little Maggie eying the door with a quiet sort of desperation.

"I don't have a glass," Maggie noted right then, and Lena grimaced before she could stop herself.

At least Bianca looked equally horrified, blanching as she twisted fast to her feet and took off for the kitchen, yelping over her shoulder to talk amongst themselves until she got back. It left the other two women to sit awkwardly and stare at one another, Lena picking awkwardly at her wine glass, self-conscious about it.

"So…" Maggie started slowly as they heard cabinet doors open and slam shut in the kitchen. "What did you two do?"

"Dinner, just dinner, picked something up..."

"Oh."

Lena had once been good at conversation, but no longer.

She flicked a glance at the tiny woman again, searching for something to act as a catalyst, taking in dark hair and honey-brown eyes, tapping nails against the glass furiously, determined to feel like herself again. "I like your hair," she tried a heartbeat later, and decided a second later that she actually did. "You must have cut it the last few days…" and she trailed off, unnerved at the sudden stare Maggie Stone settled on her, eyes wide and mouth jerking tight.

It was an odd look, and Lena reached for the wine bottle hastily, deeply unsettled by it.

"You like my hair," Stone demanded quietly, and Lena shrugged carefully, wishing she was rude enough to flee Bianca's home. But she wasn't rude, was too well controlled to ever be rude, so she started working on her third glass and looked cautiously at Bianca's lover.

"It suits you," she explained uselessly, "and I'm glad you went back to your natural hair color, the blonde didn't bring out your eyes…" Here Lena felt faintly sure of herself, good as she was at seeing every person she knew. "The cut makes the color look better, and short hair is always easier to manage," she added, tossing her head slightly to offer proof. "A cut short as mine wouldn't work too well for you, but you should give your dresser my compliments— whoever it was, they did a fine job."

Maggie continued to stare at her strangely, looking suddenly horribly vulnerable as she stood abruptly and smoothed hands down her thighs, shrugging with too much force. "I'm tired," she flatly explained, and then glanced up as Bianca came back in, looking vaguely put-out in a way that made Lena cringe inside, suddenly understanding.

Bianca had apparently wanted them to bond, to relax around each other…

Further proof of the beautiful girl's good-hearted naivety, Lena realized, dropping her eyes to her glass as she heard Maggie move fast across the room, and then an odd silence that made Lena look up. Found the tiny woman staring back at her with that same confused look, a simple silent stare that skittered down Lena's spine and left her flustered.

It was guileless, shameless, and then it was gone as Maggie vanished into the depths of the penthouse.

Lena stayed long enough to finish her third glass and then left Bianca's home, anxious and not sure why.

It was okay, though, it was fine— at least she had work now.


	3. Chapter 3

_Here now don't make a sound  
Say have you heard the news today?  
One flag was taken down  
To raise another in its place  
A heavy cross you bear  
A stubborn heart remains unchanged  
No home, no life, no love  
No stranger singing in your name_

- Foo Fighters, 'Road to Ruin'

**Two...**

_Lena's feelings for David Hayward were complicated, to say the least._

_She had once trusted him with Bianca and her baby, had depended on him, and he had betrayed them._

_But he was there for Maggie now, a dark-eyed man who stared at Lena with a wary dislike that she was almost grateful to see. He stood there, more intimidating than he should have been capable of being, hands on his hips, only the bags under his eyes indicating how worn out he was by the war that had exploded in Pine Valley in the last few days._

_"I just wanted to see how she was doing."_

_"I see," he said in a tone that indicated he didn't think that would be a good idea._

_"If she's not here—"_

_An unhappy look crossed his face. "We both know she's here."_

_This was why she had always been helplessly impressed by this man, she remembered._

_"She doesn't want to see me."_

_"She doesn't know what she wants," he said bluntly and she believed him, took a long breath and let it out._

_"She knows my cell number, my e-mail and everything else," she finally managed as she came to her decision, opening her bag and digging out the information, creasing the paper and passing it to him. "But that's where I'm staying, my room number and—" She hesitated, unsure, wondering if he thought this was some kind of offer for sex._

_But he stared at her with an odd kind of sympathy and she smiled painfully back, surprised when he reached out and touched her arm slightly, squeezed a bit._

_He understood— well, of course, she decided, and smiled one last time, walking back to her rented car, glancing back at the now silent cabin as she started the ignition, tried to slow her heartbeat and get herself under control._

_But it was impossible._

_She had lost control years before with Bianca, and then Miranda… and her mother…_

_Then there was Maggie and Maggie—_

_Maggie had seduced her._

_She would never say the words to Maggie, knew how the smaller woman would handle them, but it was the truth._

_Maggie had seduced her with wide eyes, a tremulous smile and a starved expression on fine-boned features._

_That first time, that heat she'd felt had been devastating, a mouth fitting against hers, small hands searing her skin, igniting her, leaving her dazed, reacting on pure instinct. But then that first blaze had banked, had twisted into a slow burn, a quiet ache between their moments together, and she had reacted, remembered how to use her talents._

_Maggie had seduced her, and she had returned the favor._

_And now she was terrified, quietly frantic, wanting to fix things._

_But—_

_What exactly was there to fix now?_

-

Lena's life was basic, uncluttered, sophisticated in its simplicity.

Empty.

She had her lovers whenever she wanted them— and even when she didn't care either way, didn't want company but didn't want to be alone at the same time. Tall dark women who always looked just a little bit too much like Bianca, who fell just a little too easily into her bed, believed everything she told them even though they both knew she lied.

She had no pets and no hobbies, had no interest in either.

Lena knew it was the losses that had caused her life to become so still, so silent when she allowed herself to listen. She had never found a way to restart it again, not really, but waited for it to fix itself, to settle back into what it had once been. A part of her knew it was a coward's way of coping but she was tired, exhausted, and besides, there was no one to call her on her cowardice even if they did see it.

At least she had a job that could keep her busy enough that she didn't dwell on the stillness that her life had become— even if the thought of awkward moments with Maggie Stone left her feeling unwell, uneasy.

The girl had hardened since she'd last seen her years before in Pine Valley, and it was unsettling if not unexpected.

Her eyes had darkened and the lines around her mouth had deepened, but the dark hair looked better, fit with her complexion more than the old look ever had. On a purely superficial level, Lena noticed the girl's sexuality, closer to the surface than it had been years before, a grace that she had smothered when she had been younger.

Lena remembered it fondly, the freedom that had come from understanding her sexuality.

She could admit that, if she had first seen her in a club and never known her, she would have gone home with her without a moment's hesitation, added the girl to her long lists of conquests.

But it was… awkward, just the thought of another meeting with her.

Lena hadn't known that Maggie Stone was even involved in Bianca's life until she'd turned around and crashed into the girl into the office, found herself pitifully mute while Bianca had explained that she was working for Cambias now. By the time she'd managed to slip away, she'd half-wished someone would just kill her and put her out of her misery, sure that it couldn't get any worse.

Then Bianca had insisted she go out with her and Miranda for a few hours— and then back to her home.

Fool that she'd been, she had accepted just for the few extra moments she'd managed to steal with Miranda.

She'd ended up feeling like dirt for the next several days, as if she'd tied Maggie Stone to the railroad tracks and twirled her moustache as the train barreled towards the tiny woman, thrown back her head and cackled manically.

"Why did they bring these today?"

Pausing in the act of searching through Bianca's files, she glanced back, cocked an eyebrow. "Excuse me?"

"These," Bianca elaborated in a confused tone, mouth quirked in an adorably perplexed expression as she waved a file. "I wasn't supposed to get them until Wednesday, I thought."

"It is Wednesday."

"No it's not."

Lena paused, frowned. "Yes it is."

There was a curious moment of silence as Bianca stared at her, fingers tight around the folder before, with a jerky breath, Bianca dropped it to the desk, reaching out to grab her phone out of the cradle. "I need some privacy," she ordered, voice taking on an odd edge that made Lena obey, smoothing her skirt down her thighs as she slipped fast out of the office.

She headed to her desk with an awkward twist of uneasiness in her gut.

-

The ballpoint pen was evil.

The ballpoint pen had to be destroyed.

Maggie's fingers were dark with ink and her notes were stained by the time she realized there was something wrong with the stupid pen. She'd quickly dug a new one out but it had further ruined her already crappy mood after her crappy day.

At least until she got home to the penthouse and found Miranda bouncing around with an armful of stuffed animals and a toothy grin, chubby face lighting up when she heard the door open. Abandoning the nanny, she'd immediately launched herself at Maggie, looping small arms around her legs and beaming up at her.

That little grin took the worst edge off.

Right up until she noticed the nanny eying her coolly, face too bland as she eyed Maggie's noticeably dirty hands.

"It's dried," she replied but the words lacked force, left her to swallow and pat Miranda's head half-heartedly, pang returning in force when Miranda pushed up, trying to climb up. When the little girl made a furious noise, pure Kane, Maggie pointedly looked away from the nanny, lifting the girl up and pulling her close.

The nanny looked less than amused, as if Maggie was secretly planning to spray paint her with silly string or something.

Unbelievable, Maggie decided, dropping her bag to the couch and unhooking her phone from her waist, glancing at it only to exhale sharply at the lack of any missed calls. "Nothing to worry about," she told Miranda brightly when she noticed the girl's curious look, quickly swinging Miranda to her other hip and grinning helplessly at the excited little squeal that followed.

There was nobody in the world like Miranda.

She refused to admit even to herself how much she wanted to shove the stupid nanny off the Eiffel Tower as she hoisted Miranda up a final time, leaving the main room and heading to the kitchen, pulling open the fridge as Miranda stretched out, arms linking around her neck and little head settling against hers. She'd never been so clingy before but she was now, had been getting steadily more restless over the last few months.

Maggie suspected she was probably fucking this up too, a horrible nagging fear that got worse as time ticked by.

After all, Miranda wasn't like this with Bianca.

"You hungry?" she started, but then didn't get any farther.

"She's already had her snack," a voice stated behind her and Maggie took a breath, let it out slowly before she glanced over her shoulder and beamed at the nanny watching her, standing awkwardly nearby. "A vegetable plate and a juice box, Ms. Stone, right before her nap."

"That was a few hours ago, she might want to nibble."

"She'll ruin her dinner."

"She might be hungry."

"It's only a little while before dinner," the nanny replied, not nasty but certainly disapproving.

It was ridiculous.

Had this nanny carried Miranda for nine months?

Had she held Bianca's hair back while she puked every morning for nearly a month?

Had she stood in a goddamn hospital and—

Maggie closed her eyes, forced it down, unwilling to bring all that emotion up again, knowing it was useless.

Besides, it was done and it was over… it didn't matter anymore.

Things were just fine now, finally.

"You know, I do know how to take care of Miranda—"

"I was hired by Ms. Montgomery, Ms. Stone."

It was said in the tone of one who had no idea how to talk to an idiot but was trying anyway.

In her arms, Miranda heaved a deeply aggrieved sigh, idly twirling her fingers in loose strands of Maggie's hair, legs tight around her waist, sharp little eyes taking Maggie in. Remembering when this little girl had been nothing but a shadow in a sonogram, Maggie focused on her, took her in and pushed the sting down, the quick slice taken out of her at the brutal words.

She suddenly hated this woman almost as much as she hated the thought of a maid poking around in her home.

Right, except… this was Bianca's place, not hers.

Maggie just happened to live here, these days.

Her phone buzzed, leaving her to close her eyes in a sigh at the ring that she had programmed for Bianca.

Bianca, who had missed their quick little café date, the rain check from the last lunch Bianca had missed.

"Hello?"

"Maggie!"

"Well, this is her phone," she retorted before she could stop herself, regretting it when Miranda cast her a curious little glance, still twirling Maggie's hair absently. "Yes," she added when she got her voice under control, "it's me."

"Mags, I'm so sorry—"

Maggie stopped listening, pointedly ignoring the nanny as she turned to the fridge again, tucking phone between ear and shoulder as she swung it open and began to poke around. Grabbing a pear, she held it up, grinning when Miranda snagged it happily, holding it as they went to the counter to cut it up.

With one last weird look, the nanny slunk away.

_Good riddance_, she thought nastily as she let Miranda slide down to the floor, head tilted back to offer Maggie a gap-toothed grin. Bianca droned on, apologies and excuses, and Maggie pulled out a knife and one of Miranda's cartoon bowls, slicing the pear up fast and dropping the pieces into the bowl.

"…didn't remember until Lena—"

_Jesus Harold Christ, had Lena saved the day with her powers of seduction and backstabbing?_ She wondered, biting her bottom lip hard as she set the bowl down at the table and helped Miranda into her seat, the little girl immediately snatching a piece and chewing happily. "When are you going to be home?"

"What?"

She took a deep breath.

Then she took another.

"Home, Bianca, when are you going to be home?"

"As soon as I'm done here—"

It was a bit harder to take a deep breath this time, left her to blink a few times and swallow.

_Why are you even trying, Maggie?_

Her eyes dropped down to Miranda, her free hand coming up to brush at shaggy little bangs, at a chubby little cheek.

"Are you making it for dinner?"

"Dinner?"

It was laughable, devastating, that Bianca could say the word with such confusion.

"I'm going to try making that pasta thing for us, remember?"

The silence that greeted her was answer enough, splintered her self-control as the words rose in her throat.

She wouldn't say anything, wouldn't put herself through that, knew what the reply would be—

But they spilled out fast, before she could strangle them down.

"I cut my hair."

There was a beat, a silence before Bianca asked, "Today?"

It shouldn't have hurt, it shouldn't have, not when she knew how Bianca was going to reply but oh _god_—

"Yeah, I got it trimmed…" she managed thickly, reaching up self-consciously to touch her hair, hating that she had tried something so stupid, hating Lena for making her think about it when she'd been doing such a good job at ignoring the fact that Bianca hadn't noticed at all… "A little shorter…"

"I bet it looks gorgeous."

She focused on Miranda, gazed at her with blurry eyes as she forced it all down.

"You'll see it when you get home."

"I love you."

"I love you, too," she replied and hung up first.

Only when she could trust her voice did she take a seat by Miranda and tell her about her day.

-

_Greenlee was weird._

_From where Maggie sat, she could see Greenlee working on the bed through the open bedroom door, laptop balanced in her lap as she typed, open files on either side of her. She had spent the night at the cabin at their insistence, had gotten her first night of real sleep in months on her cousin's couch knowing he had gotten up every hour to come check on her._

_"Hey."_

_Maggie jolted a little, blinked, found Greenlee staring at her carefully._

_Then she blushed outright when Greenlee crooked a finger in a clear 'come here' order._

_Leo had been their connection and when he had died, that connection had splintered, and they'd both stumbled a bit in their respective areas. When Maggie had left Pine Valley, Greenlee had been head over heels for Ryan and David had been guilt-ridden, knowing better than to even ask for forgiveness or any understanding. She'd come back to find that Greenlee spent long days in the cabin with David now, was all but ready to move in if there wasn't the fact that she had more clothes than could reasonably fit in the cabin itself (to say nothing of trying to cram it all in David's closet)._

_Maggie wasn't surprised (she'd always had her suspicions with the long looks they would cast one another when they didn't realize the other was looking) but, already overwhelmed, it took a little getting used to._

_Like when she woke up to find them talking quietly over coffee mugs of cereal— or, well, David ate his cereal out of a coffee mug and Greenlee, classy as always, ate hers out of a classy looking cereal bowl._

_They looked so… right._

_And they were both there for her now, had snatched her up and pulled her in and were taking care of her._

_So she pulled her eyes from the door where she had heard the voices long minutes before, shuffled into the bedroom in her sweatpants and her tank top only to hesitate in the doorway._

_She didn't want sympathy, didn't want to talk, but she forced herself to ask, "What?"_

_"Put these up for me," Greenlee ordered, tossing a handful of folders at her, going back to her work without another look. As if Maggie was some kind of secretary or something, and, god, this was Greenlee, the real Greenlee, not the woman who she had seen having an argument with David that morning over whether or not Kendall could handle the office for the next few days (David said she could; Greenlee insisted that Kendall would make it explode; Maggie agreed with David)—_

_Maggie stopped her mental tirade and looked down at the folders held against her chest._

_Then she looked up again at Greenlee._

_Greenlee, who was all but married to David now, held back only by her clothes._

_Maggie did it again, looking between folders and the businesswoman in front of her— and promptly decided there was a reason her evil genius cousin had finally decided to be a man and figured out his relationship with Greenlee Smythe._

_Greenlee was an evil genius, too._

_So Maggie started putting shit away for Greenlee to keep her mind off her problems._

-

The pasta dish was a success, got her mind off her emotional turmoil.

The sauce was a bit watery, admittedly, but it was good for a first try.

Miranda enjoyed it even more, her face becoming progressively more smeared with sauce as she finished the last noodle and began to push slices of bread through the remains of her meal. By the time it was bath time, Maggie had effectively managed to ignore the slow broil inside her and was fully able to embrace first story time and then bedtime.

After that, she studied as well as she could, was in the middle of anatomy when her phone buzzed, not the Bianca ring but a normal one, a sure sign she didn't know whoever it was. Curious, she reached past her books to grab it, finding it just as much as mystery when she checked the number and found it unknown.

Knowing better than to ignore it, she instead answered with an easy, "This is Maggie."

"It's Lena."

She nearly screamed, she really did, all of the carefully controlled stress from the day suddenly roaring back at the accented voice that greeted her, the annoyingly innocent tone from the woman that had betrayed Bianca so viciously years before. But she snapped her mouth shut, took slow breaths through her nose.

"Maggie?"

"Yeah, I'm here."

"I was afraid you had hung up," the voice said slowly and Maggie closed her eyes, resisting the urge to thump her head on her ridiculously huge textbook. It was infuriating that Lena could sound so unsure, so wary, threatened to undo all of Maggie's carefully stoked violent emotion towards this woman. "I know this is odd but I just wanted to speak to you…"

But Lena looked so miserable when Maggie saw her, and that look on her face before when she saw Miranda…

And… and Lena liked her hair.

It was stupid, all of it, but she couldn't just hang up no matter how much she hated Lena.

"…I wanted to apologize—"

"What?"

It came out a squawk, an honest to god _squawk_, and she clamped a hand over her mouth, horrified.

When Lena asked ever so slowly "Maggie…?" she fumbled out a fast "I'm fine" through her fingers.

"You sounded—"

"I almost sneezed," she snapped, hating that Lena sounded worried, sounded so sincere. "That's all."

A heartbeat of silence before: "As I was saying, I wish to apologize for my actions the other night, at your home." Another moment of quiet and Maggie could almost see her sitting at her desk at Cambias, hesitating, weighing her words. "My history with Bianca is over, yes, but I had no right to slip in where I'm not wanted."

It was odd, feeling like a piece of shit, feeling guilty over Lena Kundera who had broken Bianca's heart.

"Lena," she started, unsure, but a noise cut her off, short and stern.

"No, I… I was in the wrong, Maggie, and I feel horrible about it, throwing your lives upside down the way I have…"

"But—"

"I was weak, I… I wanted to see Miranda."

It was a lot at once, everything that sank slowly into Maggie, left her feeling cornered and frantic, desperate for some way to hang up and pretend this weird conversation wasn't happening. This wasn't the woman she had known who had sometimes made her feel awkward, not just because she wanted Bianca but because Lena was so very sexual even when she didn't mean to be, had made it even _harder_ for Maggie to deny her own attraction to other women.

And this woman— this woman loved Miranda and it hurt, somehow.

"I'm sorry," she mumbled and stopped, cleared her throat. "I'm sorry no one called you."

"Pardon?"

"When we found out…" She stopped, tried to squash down images of Babe Carey and her goddamn tears, walking around Pine Valley so tortured as if JR was a bad father. JR could be an asshole, Maggie would be the first to slap the shit out of him if he got mouthy with her, but he was a good fucking father, had proven it repeatedly, too many times for Maggie to count.

It was another thing she hated about Babe… that she thought she knew…

No, Maggie _knew_ bad parents, had been crushed by one, and JR was a jackass but he was a good fucking father.

It was a fact that even Bianca didn't seem to _get_, the way she would sometimes rant about him without realizing…

No.

No, it was over, it was done, and Babe wasn't even in her life anymore…

"You… you were there, too, for the pregnancy and the trial, you…" She hesitated, finally plowed on ahead, at once completely freaked and somehow sure of herself at the same time. "I'm sorry we never told you, Lena."

Apologizing to Lena and meaning it.

Jesus.

"It's fine."

"I mean it."

"I know, Maggie." There was an odd edge to her voice, a curious twist there, and Maggie didn't like it, decided to ignore it as she pushed her textbooks away, realizing she wouldn't be useful anymore tonight. "I apologize for intruding—"

"No, you… I mean, if Bianca says it's alright, you should see Miranda as much as you want."

"Really?"

"Yeah."

"You mean it?"

Maggie sighed, nodded, offering a quiet, "Yep."

"I need to go," Lena said after a moment, voice somehow steadier than it had been since so many years before, a slight hint of a smirk to it that made Maggie roll her eyes. "I have plans for tonight so…"

"Thank you."

"What?"

"For… for calling me, you… you didn't have to. Thank you."

"It was the least I could do."

"You didn't have to," Maggie repeated because that was the important thing.

She didn't have to, but she had.

Because Lena loved Miranda, it was just that simple.

"I have to go."

"Goodbye, Lena."

"Goodbye," the older woman replied and promptly hung up, left her to slowly close the phone and put it down.

To stare at it with wide eyes as she realized that, yes, it had just happened.

They had been civil with each other.

A little bit emotional, even.

It was ridiculous.

But Lena had called even though she hadn't needed to, had tried to apologize, and she'd meant it.

Because Lena loved Miranda maybe as much as she did.

Maggie couldn't hate her for that, she couldn't.

"Too much for today," she decided dully, pushing away from the desk and staggering into the bedroom without another thought. "Too much crazy for one brain to take, Stone," she continued, unbuttoning her jeans and kicking them off, stripping off her clothes and dropping them to the side. "You need a shower— No, a big bath with bubbles… nice night's sleep."

She obeyed her own orders, stayed in until her fingers were pruned and her eyelids were heavy, hauled herself upright long enough to pull on a nightshirt and stagger down the hall to check on Miranda one last time. After that, though, she had nothing left, managed to flop onto the bed and pull the covers up before she passed out.

At least for a few hours, at which point the door creaked and she jolted awake, groaning.

She blinked as the bedside lamp flicked on.

When she lifted her head, Bianca smiled back at her, opening her blouse and setting it the side, reaching behind to unhook her bra, discarding that as well. She looked exhausted but her smile was brilliant, made Maggie swallow as Bianca unzipped her skirt and let it slide down her hips, standing for a moment in what Maggie knew was a thong, head tilted in a slight little question that made Maggie shiver a bit.

Their sex life was great these days, incredible.

Bianca always got her off.

At least when Bianca was there to get her off—

Maggie stopped thinking, focused on the slow pulse that had started between her legs, the one that got faster when Bianca reached out, caught the covers and pulled, peeling them off as she set a knee on the bed. "I'm so sorry about tonight," she whispered as she climbed up, palms dipping into the mattress. "And earlier, Maggie, I'm _so_ sorry."

"It's okay—"

"No it's not," Bianca said quietly, moving slowly up until she straddled Maggie's legs, looking entirely too good in what she knew was Maggie's weakness. "I'll make it up to you," she continued, fingers catching the hem of Maggie's baggy sleep shirt, lifting it up to peel it up, capturing Maggie's mouth when the fabric was clear. "We'll have a weekend soon, just the three of us," she murmured, and Maggie sighed, nodded, draping an arm around Bianca.

She loved Bianca, remembered that as Bianca whispered quietly, "And your hair is gorgeous, Mags."

And that killed it.

She pulled back, lust replaced with annoyance again, shaking her head tiredly. "In the morning, before we head out."

"Are you sure?"

"I'd fall asleep on you," she muttered, and heard a short snort of laugher that was painfully tender, felt a palm touch her cheek before Bianca slid between the covers, one slim arm sliding tightly around Maggie's middle.

"I love you."

"I love you, too."

She felt better about the Lena thing now… they'd talk in the morning...

When she woke up, though, Bianca had already gone to work.


	4. Chapter 4

**Three...**

Lena Kundera lacking her usual fire, being so… human forced Maggie to make an unhappy realization, made her remember things that still left her pained and bewildered, their connection not through Bianca but Miranda.

She honestly didn't know how she felt about Lena.

Maggie knew how she felt as Bianca's friend, knew how she felt as the woman jealous of the fact that Bianca loved her, but she didn't know how she felt about Lena when she was just plain old Maggie Stone. She thought of a lanky Polish woman dancing the Macarena while the world outside the apartment was violent and horrible, a woman that looked as absolutely overwhelmed by a kick against her hand as Maggie had been.

From there, like always, she thought of a crying woman in a hospital, the two of them devastated over Miranda, over Bianca's baby. She thought of an awkward conversation in a hospital room, her helpless babbling to fill the silence, the brittle strength in Lena's voice as she comforted Maggie, as her palms spread a bit too desperately across Maggie's back, the tremble in her frame leaving no doubt how close she was to coming undone herself.

It was all jumbled now, had been badly shaken when Lena popped back into her life and now was just confusing.

Because this woman was missing her spark, her heat, the way she would laugh and make everybody glance her way. It was wrong, somehow, that someone like Lena should walk around so clearly not herself without everybody around her noticing, trying to fix it. She'd noticed it awkwardly before in their fumbling meeting in the Cambias building and that night with Miranda, but it only sank in after an awkward phone conversation.

Lena loved Miranda, was blatantly gluing herself to Bianca just to see the little girl.

She'd been grieving for her mother and Miranda, and they'd gotten Miranda back and she'd gotten… nothing.

"I'm a green-eyed conniving bitch monster from hell," she decided just past dawn the next morning, words mumbled around her toothbrush as she paused and met her eyes in the mirror, a confused woman with her wet hair wrapped in a towel. "She was there, too, during the pregnancy," she continued as she spit, leaned back to grimace at her reflection. "I should have called her as soon as I found out, just because she had a right to know, I should have."

If her reflection had anything to say, it didn't speak up.

"I mean, she was the girlfriend, I was just the… best friend." She swallowed. "You know, after Babe."

There was silence, only her slightly elevated heart rate breaking the stillness.

She wondered how Lena felt about Babe, and then felt like an idiot.

It was insane, to hate someone so much when they weren't even in your life anymore.

She was far away from Pine Valley, from the betrayals, from Saint Babe the martyr and her pet poodles.

Babe didn't even mean anything anymore, couldn't hurt her.

But still… how did Lena feel about her?

Was she as wonderful and forgiving as Bianca?

"Babe is not worth obsessing over. I won't give her power over me."

She stared at her reflection, her mirror image, and swallowed again, reaching up to touch the glass.

It was just glass, just an image; there was no sister there.

"Get over it," she told herself firmly and turned away, walking fast out of the bathroom only to hesitate, glancing at the bed before she could stop herself. Bianca's side had been cool when she'd reached over but she moved close and slid a palm across the bed, feeling nothing but cooled sheets and a few wrinkles.

She stood for a moment more, furious pounding in her chest leaving her feeling bruised inside.

"Get over it," she repeated thickly, and marched away to get dressed for the day.

* * *

Lena didn't kid herself.

Officially, she was a glorified secretary.

Unofficially, however, she was what Bianca needed— a predatory presence that the younger woman could rely on.

Bianca had a spark, yes, but she was curiously lacking when it came to the hardness that had made her mother such a figure, doubted nearly every decision she made in a way that left her open to whoever could slip past her defenses. At her heart, and even after her traumas, Lena had decided, she was forever terrified of being a monster.

Lena knew Bianca's more emotional weaknesses better than anyone else did, had exploited them once.

At least this was familiar.

"I think you're being harsh."

"I know men," Lena said firmly, and got a look of amusement in return.

It was adorable.

Albeit slightly frustrating.

"He's a cheater at heart," Lena informed her ex coolly. "He's only involved because his father is pressuring him and his father, Bianca, has only a few weeks left." She set the lunch on the desk and shrugged blandly, sure of herself, her instincts. "When the father dies, the son will take the company where he wants it to go and we will be forced to deal with a passive-aggressive child who wants to take his ball home. More trouble than it is worth, trust me."

"Do you ever scare yourself?"

"All the time," and Lena worked hard to smile, worked hard to make it sound like a joke.

She had nothing to worry about, found Bianca poking at her salad and frowning to herself, clearly lost in thought.

Lena was forgotten.

Hating the sting it caused, she turned away, fingers twitching in a need to smooth her dress down self-consciously.

"You still like men?" Bianca blurted out suddenly.

"What?"

"Are you still… attracted to men?"

It was an odd question, came from nowhere, Bianca's fine brow marred with her unexpected focus.

"Of course," Lena replied when she was sure it was a serious question. They had talked about it a few times when they had been together and after a few minor bouts of tense bickering, they had finally decided that the awkwardness of the conversation wasn't worth it. "I prefer women, always have, but men are nice."

"Maggie goes around calling herself a lesbian now."

Lena had no idea what Bianca was trying to say, left frustrated by her own inability to read Bianca after her previous success with the businessman.

Understanding Bianca had never been a problem before.

Another thing lost and never found again.

"But she looks at men."

"Ah…" At least now she had some idea of what was going on. "Just men?" she prodded carefully.

"And women," Bianca admitted mutely, slim fingers fiddling with her fork.

"You used to look at other women when we together, if I remember correctly."

"But…" The fork was put down, slim fingers compulsively adjusting it on the desk. "Never mind, it's fine."

"If you'd like to talk—"

"It's fine," Bianca repeated firmly, picking her fork back up and stabbing at her salad, flashing an absolutely dazzling smile up at Lena. "I over think things… mountains out of molehills, that kind of thing, you know how I am."

They weren't involved anymore, they weren't even close, weren't friends.

She only worked for Bianca now.

Bianca's personal life with Maggie wasn't her business.

Returning the smile as well as she could, she left Bianca to her meal and went back to her work.

* * *

_If the planets ever aligned, Kendall Hart-Lavery and Greenlee Smythe could effectively create a cure for cancer and find a solution to world hunger before joining during their lunch break to make the whole world sing. If given enough time before their pedicure appointment, they would also answer the question of which came first, the chicken or the egg._

Unfortunately, the planets had yet to align.

No, there were good days (all too rare) and the 'handbags at ten paces, bitch!' days (a common occurrence).

Kendall Hart-Lavery was currently stuck within a week of the latter, and found to her great annoyance that she had no one to bitch at to deal with her frustration. Her mother was busy with the show, Jack was busy with Reggie's big move into college life, and she was handling the kids for the day because Bianca…

Bianca was out with Babe.

Babe, the best friend that hadn't left her side since Bianca had showed up in Pine Valley teary-eyed.

There was only person equipped to handle Kendall at her worst.

Unfortunately, JR was busy with the same blonde problem.

So the job fell to her husband.

Watching Miranda lay out plastic food on the play grill a few feet away, shaggy bangs in her face and face tense with concentration, he kept a steady grip on the wriggling shape in his lap that was currently drooling over Ryan's arms in the way that only a small teething child possibly could.

"Dumb as a box of rocks," Kendall muttered as she burst into the office, face flushed as she dropped files to her desk and gestured at something beyond the door. She noticed the bag then, perked up immediately as she yanked it open and began to pull out the take-out she had requested when he had told her he was coming.

Then she stopped, frowned. "Half of my fries are gone."

"Ben wanted some."

Kendall glanced at their son, now squirming and reaching out for the fake cookie Miranda was fiddling with.

After a moment, she glanced at Ryan.

When he didn't blink, she narrowed her eyes.

He fidgeted just a little.

Kendall smirked.

He sighed in defeat, catching Ben when he went to lunge for the fake cookie again.

Rolling her chair around to perch near Ryan, she allowed Ben to settle into her lap, the boy grinning broadly and a bit smugly at his father at being the one to have Kendall's undivided attention as she murmured easy words into his cheek.

"She's got a room at the Inn," she grumbled as she smoothed a palm across dark hair and crammed a few fries into her mouth. "And Maggie's staying at David's while she stalks Binks, it's unbelievable."

"They're family."

"Duh," she grunted, adding under her breath with a nervous glance at Miranda, "She's as big a skank as Babe."

Ryan sighed— only to regret it when Kendall shot him a look. "I didn't mean anything—"

"You're unbelievable," she snapped, shifting Ben in her lap when he tried to wriggle down, eyes firmly glued to Miranda's toys and clearly formulating plans to get his little hands on them. "She cheated on my sister, Ryan. With my sister's ex. You do remember Lena's track record, right?"

"Maybe she had reason to." He caught her look and quickly backtracked, adding in a rush, "That came out wrong."

"Oh, you had better hope you don't let my mother hear this."

He closed his eyes for a moment, rubbing fingers against his forehead.

Ryan was a runner by nature, always had been—he'd run from his childhood and he'd kept running because it was the best way he had to survive. The knack he had for lying was useful, another habit formed to survive, but he would always choose flight over fight when the chips truly fell and the moment came to make that decision.

Kendall wasn't a runner, she was a brawler with her heart on her sleeve.

And no one, he had found, inspired dirty fighting in her the way Bianca did.

Right now, Kendall was in full 'fight to the death for Bianca' mode.

A part of him, the part that had finally figured things out and created the family he'd always wanted in the Kanes, the part of him that had stopped running and stood his ground and decided to try Kendall's method, agreed with his wife.

The rest of him, though, knew too well how it felt being on the other side of this debate.

"I'm just saying, you Kane women are—"

"What, crazy?"

"No," he corrected, voice entirely too soothing. "Intense."

"That's another word for crazy."

"You're intimidating," he insisted, reaching out absently to rip open a few ketchup packets and squeeze their contents onto the flattened bag for her to dip her fries, a move she noticed with a quick flicker in her gaze. "You come into our lives and rip open all our defenses and you just barrel right through and you don't even realize how much damage you do."

"Gee, thanks."

"I'm just saying… you know… I'd like to hear what Maggie says about this."

"You agree with her."

"No, but she's been through a lot and I think she might have her reasons—"

"You don't have reasons to cheat on someone."

Talking to Kendall in bulldog mode was like talking to a brick wall, one of those moving ones from old horror movies that ended up squishing you before you could even get the words out.

It was probably a bad sign that it was what Ryan loved most about Kendall, her drive to protect.

A part of him was still waiting for the day she kicked into bulldog mode over him with such passion.

"My sister—" Kendall started, and his control slipped, just a little.

She didn't understand.

She wasn't a runner, never wanted to run away from someone she loved so much it terrified her.

She'd never felt like it was the only way to breathe when that person wasn't listening to a word you were telling her.

"Is frolicking around with Babe while we take care of her daughter," he told her flatly, something twisting in his chest at the way Kendall faltered, emotion filling her eyes before she looked away, stared hard at Miranda playing.

"Hey," he started softly, touching her arm, but she pulled away, shoulders hunching and mouth tight.

Ryan dropped it with a private grimace, going back to his ketchup collecting feeling thoroughly crushed.

* * *

She was having a crisis of faith over Lena Kundera.

It was unbelievable.

Maggie spent her day zoning out in classes, doodling vague shapes and chewing her thumbnails, a habit she had rid herself of years before that had started to pop up over the last few weeks. When she checked her phone pointlessly every hour for calls for Bianca, Miranda grinned back at her, a quick image snapped by Maggie in the middle of playtime, the little girl paused in the middle of her castle building.

By the time she slunk back home, she was exhausted.

But Miranda was waiting for her, hair in a neat little ponytail as she latched herself to Maggie, climbed up into her arms and plastered herself against Maggie like a little monkey. Holding onto her tightly, listening to the babbling in French and English as Miranda laid out her day from wake-up to now, she headed towards the kitchen hopefully.

Bianca was already there, doing something at the stove with a phone pinched between ear and shoulder.

When she noticed Maggie, she beamed over, waved a little.

But she didn't end her phone call.

It was a little like getting jabbed in the chest with one of those Christmas pins that Maggie's mother had collected over the years in her attempt to feel like a mother, sharp and sudden even though you knew there was a chance it was coming.

_Get over it_, she told herself, turning away to check that everything was laid out on the table.

She tried to put Miranda down but the girl tightened her hold and she let it go, shifting a hip and fiddling with a fork.

"Okay!" Bianca announced brightly behind her, favoring Maggie with an even more brilliant grin when she glanced back at her. "I've cleared stuff out for this weekend so we can go out, just the three of us." The phone got hooked back to her hip, a move that made Maggie grimace inwardly, stepping back as Bianca carried the first large bowl to the table. "Noodles," she chirped with a small smile at Miranda. "And I made that sauce from the other day."

"Looks good," Maggie assured her as she stared at the perfect sauce that she had ruined when she had tried to make it.

If Bianca heard the tone, she didn't respond.

Maggie ducked her head and focused on getting Miranda into the high chair, blinking a few times.

She felt guilty over Lena Kundera.

It was insane.

Maggie couldn't think as she took a seat and watched Bianca mutter to herself, shifting the serving bowls until she grinned and nodded, looking a little like an evil genius as she flashed a triumphant look at Maggie. "Good?"

"Great!"

Bianca had made spinach, a bowl of dark green that made Maggie swallow slightly.

She'd hated spinach since she was five.

Even so, she noticed Miranda's dirty glance at the bowl, swept a little onto her fork and made a big deal out of enjoying that bite even though it didn't work— the little girl looked at her as if she was insane and Bianca chuckled under her breath. Maggie had an urge to slide under the table and disappear, dropping the fork to her plate and her hands into her lap.

"Carrots for my girl," Bianca continued as she uncovered another bowl and held one up, grinning at the instant way the little girl perked up in her seat, started fiddling with her little pink Princess plate. "And spinach for the big girls."

Maggie had never told Bianca that she hated spinach.

It didn't mean anything.

She sat silent as Bianca served up Miranda, cut the noodles and drizzled a little sauce.

When Bianca took her own seat, Maggie finally reached for the tongs, laying out noodles on her plate and then reaching for the spoon and getting herself some sauce, noticing with an annoyed pang that it looked like the recipe card.

After a moment of tense consideration, she got herself a nice big scoop of spinach.

Her girlfriend and her daughter were already eating, Bianca looking lovely with her hair pulled back, the hot, efficient businesswoman who worked all day and came home stunning, who came home and cooked a meal that looked perfect.

Maggie was still wearing her school clothes, and she thought she saw dirt under her fingernails.

She wondered what Lena was doing right now.

Then she wondered what Lena had been doing when she'd found out Miranda was alive.

Feeling terribly uncertain by that thought, she looked over at Miranda, took her in with a twist of pressure inside.

Grimacing, she looked over at Bianca, took her girlfriend in as that pressure increased just a little bit more.

Bianca wanted her and Lena to be civil together, wanted them to get along.

Maggie thought about what Bianca had been through, first Michael and then Babe.

And then Bianca had been there for her during the ordeal with Jonathon.

Who was she to decide who could and couldn't spend time with Miranda?

She hadn't given birth to Miranda, had she?

Didn't Bianca deserve to have some peace?

If Maggie got to spend so much time with Miranda, why couldn't Lena?

"I think you're right about Lena."

Bianca stopped, looked up at her, frozen in the middle of gathering more food up.

"What?"

"Lena and Miranda, some visit time for them," she explained after an awkward moment, poking determinedly at her spinach and making sure it wasn't touching her little pile of spun pasta. "Maybe she can have a few hours with her every few weeks, go out to one of the parks maybe— you know, if one of us goes with her."

Bianca looked surprised, almost doubtful that Maggie was serious. "Really?"

Sitting between the two of them, Miranda glanced back and forth intently.

"Yeah…" and she was surprised, startled, by how much she meant it.

Lena should be able to see Miranda, spoil her, act like an idiot over her because she'd been there, too.

She'd cried, too, after the storm.

Maggie looked up again, found Bianca smiling broadly, felt that pressure loosen just a bit.

"I think it's a great idea," the younger woman continued as that broad smile became an outright grin, her entire mood perking up as she nodded and brushed hair from Miranda's forehead. "Lena's off this weekend, too, so we can make a day of it, some female bonding to make up for the work I've been doing."

Yeah, they could make a day of it—

Wait.

But Bianca's attention was focused on Miranda now, and she looked ecstatic.

As if Maggie had just given Bianca her Christmas presents early.

Maggie felt like an idiot as she sat there in front of the stupid spinach that was bleeding into her meal, trying to fit together how her good deed had just stabbed her in the heart, watching Miranda munch away and Bianca enjoy her perfect, just-like-the-recipe-card meal, pressure back and worse than ever.

She didn't know how it happened.

Then Maggie thought about that for a moment— she thought about her flight to Paris months before and realized that it wasn't a new feeling, that she didn't even know how she and Bianca had…

Maggie took a deep breath, let it out and then she ate the stupid spinach.

Bianca had made it just for them.

* * *

She got take-out, like usual.

She came home to an empty place, like usual.

She ate alone, like usual.

Lena was used to it all, but it stung tonight more than it should have.

Tired after a tense day of awkward moments with Bianca, as confused as she always was now, she worked her way through her meal while watching the news. She got up from the couch after she was done to dig a bag out of the freezer and search through it, finally deciding on a handful of Hershey's kisses before going back to her television.

European chocolate was far better.

But she wanted this.

She worked through her dessert with the same meticulousness as her dinner, pulling the paper ribbons out and wrapping them in the little foil wrappers, setting the little sphere of foil that was left on her coffee table before popping the piece of chocolate into her mouth.

She wasn't sure when she had started doing this but she had.

Tonight, though, it bothered her.

She cast a hard look at the line of foil balls as she popped the last kiss into her mouth, scowled helplessly.

If her mother were alive, she'd be horrified.

But her mother was dead.

She was a grown adult and felt like an orphan.

Lena Kundera hadn't even known such a thing was possible.

"I am pathetic."

If her home disagreed with her assessment, it didn't speak its opinion aloud.

Shuddering at her own mental state, unwilling to go out and find company, she lay back on the couch, pulling a cushion over her face and waiting for something other than the chocolate she was hiding in her freezer to get her attention.

Her phone buzzed and she ignored it until it stopped.

Her phone buzzed again.

This time she reached out for it, sliding the pillow down to her middle as she answered without checking the number.

"Hello?"

"Lena, this is Maggie." A beat of silence. "You know that already."

"I did recognize the voice," Lena admitted, corner of her mouth twisting at the embarrassed tone she heard.

"Cute." Another tight beat of silence. "Sorry."

"No, it's good to know I am still attractive."

"I meant 'cute' sarcastically."

"I know."

This time the silence lasted more than a beat, seconds ticking into a full minute before Maggie's voice returned.

"I apologize."

"You have nothing to apologize for, Maggie—"

"Please shut up so I can get this over with."

Lena shut her mouth obediently, smiling at the exhausted huff that she heard.

"Good, thank you." A noise that suggested Maggie was switching the phone from one hand to another before her voice came back stronger than before, hard edge to the words. "The three of us, we're going out this weekend. A little shopping, dinner… lots of watching Miranda run around like the Energizer Bunny." A tense heartbeat before— "We wanted to know if you wanted to join us."

"What?"

"It's an invitation," Maggie told her flatly, "just trying to be nice—"

"That's all?"

"I didn't mean it like that," Maggie continued in a slightly high-pitched rush, and Lena suspected that wherever she was, she was pacing like some kind of cornered animal. "I just think that you should spend some time with Miranda and— and it's weird, okay?"

"It's okay."

"It's just—"

"Strange," Lena interrupted carefully, firmly, feeling sure about this, at least.

"Yeah…"

"My relationship with Bianca ended messily— it's natural for you to feel awkward."

"I feel like a bitch."

"You called me to tell me that you are okay with me coming to see your daughter with Bianca. You are the farthest thing from a bitch." When Maggie said nothing, clearly unsure, she kept going, uneasy about the thought of the other woman having such notions. "You've been nothing but civil towards me since I came back into your life."

"For Bianca—Shit, I have to stop talking."

"I was the romantic rival, Maggie, it's all natural."

"I didn't hide it well?"

"No."

Maggie sighed, sounding miserable, and Lena winced.

"So… this weekend, you'll… be there?"

"It sounds wonderful."

"Okay. Okay, good, that's… that's good."

"I'll come by your place in the morning, would that be okay?"

"Yeah, sure."

"Good." Lena bit her lip, considered. "Thank you for calling."

"It was nothing."

"No, it wasn't." The words came out odd, and she finished with a hasty, "Goodbye, Maggie."

"Bye," and a click met her, so sharp she couldn't help but jump a little.

Well…

At least they were talking like adults.

It was something to be grateful for, especially with Miranda involved.


End file.
